Hitch Hiking with Peanut Butter

As a preface, this might be long, but it's hilarious! I seem to have random, weird, and funny experiences to share more often than a lot of people I know.

Today I would like to share the true story of the hitch hiking, peanut butter lovin' substitute for my co-worker Andy's Orchestra classes today. When he called to tell me he wouldn't be in and called in sick, I didn't worry. We were just going to cancel his classes, because no one EVER shows up, or signs up for the job on Subfinder. I know this because he has called in sick several times lately. Today I started my first class by running through a song, and I noticed that there was an older lady standing off to the side. After the song was over I asked if I could help her. She said she was a sub. Assuming she was a classroom sub for the fifth grade wanting to come hear, I said "a sub for who?" She said "the orchestra." I was amazed someone had signed up for Andy's job. Well, Andy always faxes over his sub plans, which has been pointless in the past, since no one shows up. Well the one day a sub did come, he hadn't faxed over the plans. But she was able to get them before we finished up at this school.

Before I left to my second school, this woman, probably in her late 60's, said she signed up for the job at 8:10, and ran over to school from her house to make it on time. (I'm not sure why she didn't just drive over). She asked if I could give her a ride to all the schools today. I said that wouldn't work... how would she get home? (I thought it was strange she signed up for a job, and expected a ride). She said she could take the bus home. I was trying to say no in a nice way. I also said, "Did you know that you get paid for the mileage to all the schools today? You just keep track of it for the day." She said, "yes, I know, but I would really like to ride with you, and get to know you, and then we can talk about the sub plans." Well, this woman is the grandma of one of my good trumpet players at that school, and looking back, I would not have done this, but I gave her a ride. I think it's hilarious that a sub finally shows up, and then asks for a ride. I am too nice sometimes. She did some really funny things.

On the way to my next school, I told her I would have to run some errands on the way, and stop at the music store. She made me laugh when she said, "that's even better!" I thought it was funny she was so excited to go to the music store. She was telling me she was excited to sub for music today, and she grabbed some of her instruments from her house, including a train whistle, and sure enough, I could hear her play it for the kids. Funny! I also stopped for gas on the way. She said, "Since we are stopped, I guess I'll make my lunch now." Being in a hurry in the morning, she didn't make a sandwich, but instead brought bread and a jar of peanut butter. When I got back in my car, she was making her sandwich in my car. It really made me laugh. So, now my car smelled like peanut butter (Luckily it does not now). She said my car smelled brand new, and asked if it was new. I said no, it was not new.

She followed me around at the next school, even when I cooked my lean cuisine meal in the microwave. She said, "You're not used to having a shadow, huh?" I said no, I was not used to that. As I went to throw away my empty box, she asked if she could read it, and seemed to find it fascinating reading material (he, he). Finally, at our last school, she realized she lost her wallet, so I called the previous school to see if someone turned it in, which they had. I was glad. At the end of the day she was supposed to decide which class was the best of the day. This class would earn treats from Andy when he came back. She was taking this decision way too seriously, trying to give numbers to each class from 10-20 points. I just reminded her it was not a big deal, and she could just tell me which class behaved the best. The best part is that, since this woman left her wallet at the other school, she had no money, so at the end of the day I had to give her $1.10 to take the bus home. I called up Andy to report on the sub, and I said, "Please come back tomorrow!" We laughed, and he said "You never want me to just call in for a sub again, huh?" Definitely :)